I’VE STOPPED MAKING WISHES THAT DON’T COME TRUE.

Tuesday April 20th, 2010: En Route from Adjovscina to Venice.

We’re on our way to Venice right now. Taking a panoramic look I’m surrounded by mountains and vineyards, para-gliders and a cloud-less sky. I don’t know why this is, but my memory regales itself with stories from my past littered with times of crying so hard blood-vessels in my face broke. Or even the time I was sitting in the waiting room for my first psychologist’s appointment admitting to myself that I’d finally “lost it”.

If I could go back and tell that miserable person I once was that everything was going to be okay, I would. I needed it, and no one said it. But I guess that’s the payoff on “barely hanging on by a thread” – I don’t blame myself for anything that’s brought me down anymore. I’m also not expecting amazing things to happen to me. I don’t expect anyone else to roll like this, but I think I’ve found my niche in terms of handling my own life. I still worry, I still get upset from time to time. But times like this, I think it’s good for the benefit of my own sanity that I can remind myself that at the best of times, I can finally give myself at least a little bit of credit, gently pat myself on the back and “you’re actually… sort of… doing okay right now…”

Right now, I’m currently seated at the front of our mini-bus and I have something I really need to get off my chest. I am, really – truly, in the funniest band on the planet. I’m typing this and half-eavesdropping on various conversations that could be part of a “It’s Always Sunny”-esque sitcom. Yesturday we had a day off and parked the bus at the base of this mountain in Slovenia. So, y’know – to take a break from playing shows, and getting rowdy, we drank whiskey. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Trevor Reilly:

I’m not exactly sure if this is funny to anyone but me – maybe people that know us, but this shit is fucking funny. If you don’t think this is funny, then you haven’t been hanging out with me or Trev enough.

Here’s what we’re living in right now – and let me tell you – it’s a lot better than a $500 a month apartment in Korean-town in Toronto.